


Alan you Ignorant slut

by Chokingonchargers



Category: BNA: Brand New Animal (Anime)
Genre: Alan Sylvasta being Alan Sylvasta, Aro Pinga, Attempt at Humor, Comedy, F/F, Fluff and Humor, Getting Together, M/M, Shirou is so done
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-30
Updated: 2020-08-09
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:47:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,791
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25606081
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chokingonchargers/pseuds/Chokingonchargers
Summary: A BNA chatfic
Relationships: Alan Sylvasta/Ogami Shirou, Hiwatashi Nazuna/Kagemori Michiru
Comments: 12
Kudos: 94





	1. Chapter 1

**_Michirou Kagemori added Shirou Ogami, Nazuna Hiwatashi and (1) other to the chat_ **

**Michirou Kagemori:** Hi guyss 

**_Shirou Ogami left the chat_ **

**Michirou Kagemori:** Ughhhhhhh Shirouuu

**_Michirou Kagemori added Shirou Ogami to the chat_ **

**_Michirou Kagemori set Shirou Ogami's nickname to Old Man_ **

**Old Man:** Really? I’m gonna leave again if you don’t knock it off.

**Michirou Kagemori:** No pls

**Michirou Kagemori:** Stay

**_Nazuna Hiwatashi added Alan Sylvasta to the chat_ **

**_Old Man left the chat_ **

**Alan Sylvasta:** How did you get my number?

**Nazuna Hiwatashi:** Dont ask questions

**Alan Sylvasta:** *Don't

**_Nazuna Hiwatashi set Alan Sylvasta's nickname to That is not correct_ **

**That is not correct:** Um, what?

**Nazuna Hiwatashi:** Whatever, just had Shirou back Michirou.

**Michirou Kagemori:** akakdsh

**Michirou Kagemori:** Oh my god yes

**Nazuna Hiwatashi:** Uh- Michirou? Did you just headbut your keyboard????

**Michirou Kagemori:** no…? maybe….?

**Nazuna Hiwatashi:** Ok then.

**_That is not correct set Nazuna Hiwatshi's nickname to Big Headed Bitch._ **

**_Michirou Kagemori added Shirou Ogami to the chat._ **

**_Michirou Kagemori set Shirou Ogami's nickname to Alan's Bitch_ **

**Michirou Kagemori:** Dont leave again

**That is not correct:** *Don't, also you forgot a period.

**Michirou Kagemori:** Fuck you

**Pinga:** This should be fun

**Alan's Bitch:** Excuse me!?

**That is not correct:** Fitting name, isn’t it Shirou?

**Alan’s Bitch:** Stfu.

**_Alan’s Bitch changed his name to Shirou (Dont fucking change my name I stg)_ **

**_Big Headed Bitch set Michirou Kagemori's nickname to Racoon Hoe_ **

**That is not correct:** Shirou I thought you liked being my bitch??

**_Shirou (Dont fucking change my name I stg) removed That is not correct from the chat_ **

**Big Headed Bitch:** Umm wut

**Pinga:** Its called a lovers squabble, funniest shit I’ve ever seen.

**Shirou (Dont fucking chang…:** You have to be completely brain dead to think I’d like him of all people.

**Pinga:** Damn.

**Raccoon hoe:** Idk Shirou, you two got some chemistry.

**Shirou (Dont fucking chang…:** i will strangle you.

**Raccoon Hoe:** Bet.

**_Racoon Hoe added Alan Sylvasta to the chat_ **

**Alan Sylvasta:** I would like a turn, Shirou.

**Big Headed Bitch:** Alan.

**Big Headed Bitch:** you kinky manwhore.

**Racoon Hoe:**

****

  
  


**Alan Sylvasta:** I do not believe it is illegal to be horny in Anima City.

**Racoon Hoe:** Alan you ignorant slut

  
  


**_Pinga set Alan Sylvasta's nickname to Ignorant slut_ **

  
  


**Shirou (Dont fucking chang…:** I’m going to bed, try not to blow up my phone.

**Ignorant slut:** My bed is cold, may I join you?

**Shirou (Dont fucking chang…:** No.

_________________________________

  
  


**_Blood Hound and "Human"_ **

**"Human":** So no cuddles tonight :(

**Blood Hound:** Quit your bitching and get over here. 

**“Human”:** With pleasure ;)

**"Human":** And we both know youre the one bitching every time I get up.

**Blood Hound:** Stfu.


	2. Rest in peices

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nickname guide
> 
> Racoon Hoe: Michirou Kagemori
> 
> Big Headed Bitch: Nazuna Hiwatashi
> 
> Flying Whore-Big Bird: Pinga
> 
> Mr. Krabs: Marie Itami
> 
> Ignorant Slut: Alan Sylvasta
> 
> Alan's Bitch, Shirou(dont change my name stg): Shirou Ogami

**Raccoon Hoe:** Can someone explain why I just saw a shirtless Alan going into the kitchen and grabbing a poptart then going upstairs.

**Raccoon Hoe:** I thought we didn’t like him, why is he shirtless and in our house-?

**Big Headed Bitch:** 👀

**Pinga:** If you hear a bed creaking, I suggest to just leave and not come back until morning. 

**_Ignorant slut sent a photo depicting a sleeping Shirou with a spare pillow on his chest_ **

**Ignorant Slut:** He's cheating on me

**Raccoon Hoe:** SOD JUST SHT OUT OF MY NOSE-

**Raccoon Hoe:** IT BURNS

**Ignorant Slut:** *Soda *Shot

**Big Headed Bitch:** I will cut you

**Pinga:** This is enough socializing for tonight.

**Ignorant Slut:** It's 9 a.m. 

**Pinga:** I could care less. 

**Ignorant Slut:** Is it okay if I burn a pillow on the roof.

**Raccoon Hoe:** No, you might burn down the whole place.

**Ignorant Slut:** Oh, nevermind he is awake.

**Shirou (Dont fucking chang…:** could you guys not blow up my phone while I’m trying to sleep?

**Shirou (Dont fucking chang…:** mostly looking at you Alan.

**Big Headed Bitch:** interesting.

**Shirou (Dont fucking chang…:** What’s interesting?

**Big Headed Bitch:** You might wanna scroll up in the chat.

**Raccoon Hoe:** I never knew you were gay Shirou. Especially for Alan Lmao-

_**Raccoon Hoe set** **Shirou (Dont fucking change my name, I stg)’s name to Gay for Alan.** _

**Ignorant Slut:** i think I like Alan’s Bitch moekwksoawjdndj

**Big Headed Bitch:** Alan..?

**Raccoon Hoe:** He’s dead.

**Ignorant Slut:** wiaosow eowjwoalapdlckvkv kekwwp 

**Raccoon Hoe:** Very dead.

__________________________________

**Ignorant Slut:** I'm alive but my phone now has several cracks in it.

**_Racoon Hoe added Marie Itami to the chat_ **

**Marie Itami:** From what Michirou told me, just give Them me 50 bucks and I might be able to get you a new one.

**Racoon Hoe:** He's rich 50 bucks is like a dollar to him

**Marie Itami:** Alright then prices just rose I have one left, 250,000. 

**Ignorant Slut:** Well, I'd never expect a so-called mink to try and weasel as much money as she can from an upstanding citizen such as myself.

**Gay for Alan:** Upstanding citizen my ass

**Ignorant Slut:** Well that wasn't very nice.

**_Ignorant Slut set Gay for Alan’s name to Alan’s Bitch._ **

**Ignorant Slut:** Especially from my bitch.

**Alan's Bitch:** Wtf I cant change my name

**Racoon Hoe:** hehe

**Marie Itami:** Im a mink its 300,000 now. But that was funny ngl lmao-

**_Racoon Hoe set Marie Itami's nickname to MR. Krabs_ **

**Krabs:** Haha, very funny.

  
  


**_Big Headed Bitch set Pinga's nickname to Big Bird_ **

**Ignorant Slut:** Surprisingly accurate, Albatrosses have the largest wingspans of migratory birds.

**Big Bird:** I was in the middle of something, though once I saw my name I knew it wouldn’t be good. 

**Big Bird:** Although, it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. 

**Raccoon Hoe:** I can change that.

**Big Bird:** Wait that’s not what I meant-

**Big Bird:** Please dont-

**_Raccoon Hoe set Big Bird’s name to Flying Whore_ **

**Flying Whore:** Damnit.

**Ignorant Slut: @Raccoon Hoe** You forgot two periods.

**Ignorant Slut: @MR. Krabs** You forgot one apostrophe a period also you do not need them in your first sentence.

**Ignorant Slut: @Flying whore** You forgot two periods and one apostrophe.

**Flying Whore:** We get it grammar nazi.

**Big Headed Bitch:** Shirou come get your boyfriend.

**Raccoon Hoe:** More like master. 

**Raccoon Hoe:** I can see them being kinky ngl.

**Ignorant Slut:** Well the walls are thin here and your room is not far from Shirou's so I guess you hear rather than see.

**Raccoon Hoe:** I’d rather not get into that-

**Alan's Bitch:** Im going to kill myself

**Alan's Bitch:** and its your fault

**Flying Whore:** Parks and Rec is better than the Office

**Alan's Bitch:** take that back you flying shit

**Ignorant Slut:** I've watched both and I have to agree with Pinga

**Alan's Bitch:** Your sense of humor is terrible

**Raccoon Hoe:** I love how this was originally just us bullying Shirou but now just it’s us bullying Shirou as he talks about the Office.

**Big Headed Bitch:** Lol yeah.

**Ignorant Slut:** Its alright Shirou, maybe we can binge Parks and Rec on our next date? Maybe then you can get a better sense of humor instead.

**Alan’s Bitch:** Fuck it. Only if you give me my choker back

**Ignorant Slut:** What do you mean? You dropped it..

**Alan’s Bitch:** Yeah and you stole it from me.

**Ignorant Slut:** It wasn't stealing. Just borrowing for a while.

**Ignorant Slut:** A long while..

**Alan’s Bitch:** Just give it back, Alan.

**Ignorant Slut:** I'll give it back when it loses your scent, you baby.

**Raccoon Hoe:** Annnnnnd- 

**Raccoon Hoe:** He is on his way to kill you again.

**Raccoon Hoe:** Just saw him leave he definitely wasn’t happy lmao-

**Alan’s Bitch:** No, I’m not happy at all.

**Big Headed Bitch:** We’ll make sure your funeral is a good one, Alan.

**Ignorant Slut:** Before I die Shirou smells like gunpowder and smoke.

**Racoon Hoe:** Huh

**Ignorant Slut:** It's an acquired taste

**Alan’s Bitch:** Stfu peppermint smelling ass.

**Ignorant Slut** : Your face is practically part of my neck everytime we cuddle.

**Flying Whore:** Ah, the bickering of a couple, especially this one, is better than any tv show I’ve seen. Keep it going boys.

**Alan's Bitch:** This is funny to you?

**Flying Whore:** As an Aro your squabbles are beneath me

**Ignorant Slut:** Everything is eventually beneath you.

**Flying Whore:** Not the sky

**Ignorant Slut:** That is true

**Ignorant Slut:** Shirou is also a bdddjdjsksmn

**Big Headed Bitch:** Rest in Pieces

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me and a friend are having alot of fun writing this. Next chapter will have more Nazuna and Michirou


	3. Calm your tits

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nickname guide:
> 
> Michirou Kagemori: Racoon Hoe, Beastmanitis???, Tanooki Thief
> 
> Alan Sylvasta: Ignorant Slut, Helth
> 
> Shirou Ogami: Alan's Bitch, Stupid Dog
> 
> Pinga: Flying Whore
> 
> Marie Itami: MR. Krabs

_**Alan you ignorant slut** _

**Racoon Hoe:** One time Shirou told me to stay away from the Medical Center and the church and I went to both in the same day.

**Ignorant Slut:** And broke my MRI machine.

**Raccoon Hoe:** Had a lot of fun that day, ngl

**Ignorant Slut:** And broke my MRI machine.

**Ignorant Slut:** Also, you forgot a period.

**Raccoon Hoe:** Bite me.

**Alan's Bitch:** And ignored me.

**Ignorant Slut:** And broke my MRI machine.

**Raccoon Hoe:**

**Ignorant Slut:** Like you did after breaking my MRI machine.

**Big Headed Bitch:** Oh shush, she had good intentions. Though, I’ll admit they weren’t smart.

**Raccoon Hoe:** See?? Nazuna is on my side.

**Raccoon Hoe:** Wait-

**Raccoon Hoe:** What do you mean my intentions weren’t smart??

**Ignorant Slut:** Why would I kidnap Nazuna?

**Alan's Bitch:** Be quiet Alan.

**Ignorant Slut:** That's fair.

**Big Headed Bitch:** Michirou, I love you and you’re my best friend but your not that smart.

**Raccoon Hoe:** ksdhinmskx

**Ignorant Slut:**

****

**Big Headed Bitch:** Alan, get off my case. I already said as a friend.

**Ignorant Slut:** mmmmmm, I don’t know if I believe that.

**Flying Whore:** is Alan

**Flying Whore:** memeing

**Ignorant Slut:**

****

**Alan’s Bitch:** Fuck, who taught him.

**Flying Whore:** Don’t look at me. I barely know the guy.

**Big Headed Bitch:** I don’t even meme myself so.

**Alan's Bitch:** Alan stop it’s annoying.

**Alan's Bitch:** And Michirou stop teaching Alan these things. It makes him harder to tolerate. 

**Ignorant Slut:**

****

**Raccoon Hoe:**

****

**Alan’s Bitch:** Godamnit Alan.

**Alan’s Bitch:** Godamnit both of you.

**____________________________________________**

**_Tanooki Thief and Stupid Dog_ **

**Tanooki Thief:** I am now officially in the friendzone.

**Tanooki Thief:** I no longer wish to live

**Stupid Dog:** And what is this about?

**Tanooki Thief:** Weren’t you reading all the texts??????

**Tanooki Thief:** She said I was her best friendddddsjejwksmqka ;__;

**Stupid Dog:** I’m guessing you’re talking about Nazuna?

**Tanooki Thief:** Yeah ;______;

**Stupid Dog:** What’s so bad about being her best friend

**Tanooki Thief:** Shirou, stop being a boomer and take me seriously.

**Stupid Dog:** Fine, fine, but if you’re really that upset about it, talk to her. 

**Stupid Dog:** I’d rather not sit here and watch you vent over some teenage drama.

**Tanooki Thief:** and I thought we were friends but I guess not. Thanks anyways :|

**Stupid Dog:** Don’t be like that. Talking to me isn’t going to fix anything. You have to talk to her.

**Tanooki Thief:** But that requires me full on confessing and that’s hard to doooo Shirou.

**Stupid Dog:** Just do it and get it over with.

**Tanooki Thief:** It’s not that simple.

**Tanooki Thief:** You boomer >:|

**Stupid Dog:** Stop calling me a boomer, I don’t even know what that is.

**Tanooki Thief:** Yeah cuz you’re a boomer.

**Stupid Dog:** Just go talk to her already.

**____________________________________**

**_Alan you Ignorant slut_ **

**Flying Whore:** Hello…??

**Flying Whore:** Why is everyone quiet all of the sudden??

____________________________________________

**_Helth and Beastmanitis???_ **

**Beastmanitis???:** How did you and Shirou confess to each other.

**Helth:** Explain yourself.

**Beastmanitis???:** I just wanna know.

**Helth:** Mmmm, I feel like there’s more to it than “just wanting to know”

**Beastmanitis???:** I’m in a predicament with a crush ok? I wanna make sure I’m not in the friendzone.

**Helth:** Welllll, who is this crush of yours?

**Beastmanitis???:** Getting off topiccccc!

**Helth:** What?

**Helth:** Are you scared I’ll tell them?

**Helth:** It must be Nazuna then, Huh?

**Beastmanitis???:** NEVERMIND WHO IT IS.

**Beastmanitis???:** Just tell me how you and old wolf man confessed to each other.

**Helth:** Well Shirou broke into the medical center with the intention of "Checking for any drones or robots that may be left." 

**Helth:** He was caught of course

**Beastmanitis???:** and then what?

**Helth:** I’m getting there, calm your tits.

**Beastmanitis???:** I regret teaching you that

**Helth:** Anyways, I was suspicious for an obvious reason. It felt like he wasn’t just there to make sure the drones were all gone if you get what I’m saying. So I humbly asked him out on a date and sneaked my number onto a piece of paper into his pocket. 

**Helth:** I got an angry response with of course, him flipping me off and leaving but, I soon got a text say yes from an unknown number and knew it was him.

**Helth:** I honestly wasn’t expecting a yes but, I wasn’t complaining.

**Beastmanitis???** : Wait so- It was that easy?

**Helth:** Surprisingly, yes.

**Beastmanitis???:** Ughhhh, no wonder. Rich people always have it easy. This’ll most likely be a pain.

**Helth:** Ouch. It’s true but still, I’m hurt.

**Beastmanitis???:** Considering the fact that youre not in jail.

**Helth:** *you're

**Beastmanitis???:** I will fight you.

____________________________________________

**_DeEsSe LoUvE and whatever the fuck a Tanooki is-_ **

**whatever the fuck a…:** Heyyyyyyy soooo

**DeEsSe LoUvE:** Wut.

**whatever the fuck a…:** Wut?

**DeEsSe LoUvE:** what were you going to say?

**whatever the fuck a…:** Oh right-

**whatever the fuck a…:** Soooo

**whatever the fuck a…:** I was thinkinggggg

**DeEsSe LoUvE:** Spit it out, Michirou.

**whatever the fuck a…:** Fine, fine. But don’t get weirded out plss 

**DeEsSe LoUvE:** No promises.

**whatever the fuck a…:** ughhhhhhh

**whatever the fuck a…:** idontknowifyouregayornotbutdoyouwannagoout?

**whatever the fuck a…:** we’ve been friends for a while lol..

**whatever the fuck a…:** soooo what’d ya sayy??

**whatever the fuck a…:** sorry if I’m being annoying lol..

**whatever the fuck a…:** hey?

**whatever the fuck a…:** you still there…?

**whatever the fuck a…:** Nazuna…..?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hehe


	4. Shovel Talk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nickname Guide:
> 
> Alan Sylvasta: "Human", Ignorant Slut
> 
> Shirou Ogami: Alan's Bitch, Bloodhound
> 
> Marie Itami: MR. Krabs
> 
> Pinga: Flying Whore
> 
> Michirou Kagemori: Racoon Hoe, If lost return to Fox Lady
> 
> Nazuna Hiwatashi: Big headed bitch, I'm Fox Lady

_**Alan you ignorant slut** _

**Flying Whore:** Whelp, this chat is dead apparently.

**Krabs:** I gotta agree, which is funny since I walked away from my phone for 10 minutes and I had over 20 messages all from this group.

**Flying Whore:** Thats how it usually is if you aren’t texting in here full time.

**Ignorant Slut:** Forgot an apostrophe.

**Flying Whore:** THERE’S the grammar nazi. Now where are the other three??

**Ignorant Slut:** Beats me.

**Alan’s Bitch:** I’m here.

**Alan’s Bitch:** god I hate this name.

**Ignorant Slut:** But it fits you Shirou ;)

**Alan’s Bitch:** S t f u.

**Alan’s Bitch:** We all know I’m on top anyways.

**Flying Whore:** Welllllllll…

**Krabs:** You were limping the last time I saw you.

**Ignorant Slut:** Sorry, I'll be more gentle next time.

**Alan’s Bitch:** I stg Alan.

**Flying Whore:** Alright, Alright. Enough you two. 

**Flying Whore:** Where are Michirou and Nazuna?? They usually talk a lot in here.

**Flying Whore:** Well at least Michirou does. 

**Alan’s Bitch:** Michirou was having crush problems

**Ignorant Slut:** She had crush problems.

**Alan’s Bitch:** Wait

**Alan’s Bitch:** How do you know that?

**Ignorant Slut:** I should be asking you the same thing.

**Ignorant Slut:** Also you forgot a period. Twice.

**_Racoon Hoe set her name to If lost return to Fox Lady_ **

**_Racoon Hoe set Big Headed Bitch's name to I'm Fox Lady_ **

**If lost return to Fox Lady:** Guess whos got a girlfrienddddd

**Flying Whore:** Not me cuz I’m still hella single.

**Ignorant Slut:** Ah, they grow up so fast..

**Ignorant Slut:** Right Shirou?

**Alan’s Bitch:** Dont talk to me. I’m still angry.

**Ignorant Slut:** What’s changed? You’re always angry.

**If lost return to Fox Lady:** ANYwayuyyyyyyy.

**If lost return to Fox Lady:** Nazuna and I areeee officallll!

**I’m Fox Lady:** I thought I said to keep it on the downlow for now-?

**If lost return to Fox Lady:** Right- Sorry Lol

**If lost return to Fox Lady:** Forget what i said about Nazuna and I!!

**Ignorant Slut:** Hold on, this had been bothering me ever since you changed it-

**_Ignorant Slut set If lost return to Fox Lady’s name to If lost, return to Fox Lady._ **

**I'm Fox Lady:** My girlfriends grammar is perfect you poor excuse for a beastman

**If lost, return to Fox Lady:** What happened to keeping it on the downlow!??

**Ignorant Slut:** I

**Ignorant Slut:** am

**Flying Whore:** What’re you doing-?

**Ignorant Slut:** GOD FUCKING DAMNIT YOU SONOF A BITCH- you ruined it

**Mr. Krabs:** He forgot a period

**Mr. Krabs:** Shirou come get yo dog bitch

**Flying Whore:** um.

**Flying Whore:** Sorry??

**Ignorant Slut:** Oh my god.

**Ignorant Slut:** I am.

**Ignorant Slut:** a.

**Flying Whore:** I still don’t know what you’re doing.

**Ignorant Slut:** A MOTHERFUCKING PUREBRED WOLF YOU FUCKING ASS.

**Ignorant Slut:** I’m going to sleep. 

**Ignorant Slut:** Fuck you all.

**Ignorant Slut: @Flying Whore** especially you.

**_Ignorant Slut has left the chat_ **

**Alan’s Bitch:** Finally that goddamn bitch is gone.

**Alan's Bitch:** absvsjwv

**Alan's Bitch** : Its Alan. **@I'm Fox Lady** If you ever hurt Michirou I will personally see to it that your insides will be injected with a corrosive acid that will slowly dissolve your internal organs and bones and as you are slowly turning into a bloody warm smoothy I will kill every former member of your church right in front of you painlessly and quickly so your pain filled mind can only envy them.

**_I'm Fox Lady added Alan Sylvasta to the chat_ **

**I'm Fox Lady:** Umm should I be concerned

**Alan Sylvasta:** Only if you hurt Michirou.

**If lost, return to Fox Lady:** For some reason, I’m the one scared.

**Alan Sylvasta:** Anyways, I promised Shirou cuddles to goodnight everyone.

**Alan’s Bitch:** No you didn’t. And no, we’re not cuddling.

**Alan Sylvasta:** Are you still angry with me??

**Alan Sylvasta:** I can make it up to you ;)

**Flying Whore:** I don’t like the look of that winky face.

**Alan Sylvasta:** Shirouuuuu~

**Alan’s Bitch:** Alan.

**Alan Sylvasta:** Yes, Shirou~?

**Alan’s Bitch:** Stop.

**Alan Sylvasta:** :’(

**If lost, return to Fox Lady:**

****

**___________________________________**

**_Blood Hound and “Human”_ **

**Blood Hound:** You can come over but this time, don’t fucking make a scene.

**“Human”:** I knew you couldn’t resisttt. 

**“Human”:** Especially after our little meeting a little while ago and when I took your phone.

**Blood Hound:** Use proper grammar please it's not like you.

**“Human”:** It’s not my fault.

**Blood Hound:** Uh Huh. Yeah. Then who’s is it?

**“Human”:** Our daughter’s.

**Blood Hound:** Don’t blame it on her.

**Blood Hound:** Wait- 

**Blood Hound:** When the fuck did we get a daughter??

**“Human”:** I know! I blame it on you! And we adopted her 5 days ago!!

**Blood Hound:** What?

**Blood Hound:** Wait no, Nevermind. Just come over. No talking or nothing. Just come over.

**Blood Hound:** And I'm topping tonight.

**“Human”:** You’ll have to fight me then. ;)


	5. Hatred

**If lost, return to Fox Lady:** I’m just going to ignore you guys ignoring my new relationship.

**MR. Krabs:** k.

**Flying Whore:** Sorry, Alan and Shirou are more amusing.

**If lost, return to Fox Lady:** Well were cuter

**Alan Sylvasta:** *We're

**Alan Sylvasta:** Also, Shirou and I are adorable.

**Alan’s Bitch:** You say that as if we’re a couple.

**Alan Sylvasta:** Couple or not, I still sucked your dick. 

**If lost, return to Fox Lady:** TMI. TMI. TMI. TMI.

**Flying Whore:** I now have an image of that happening and I don’t like it at all. 

**Flying Whore:** Someone please bleach my brain.

**Alan Sylvasta:** Whoops.

**Alan Sylvasta:** I said too much.

**Alan’s Bitch:** No shit Sherlock.

**Alan Sylvasta:** *Alan.

**Alan’s Bitch:** Your a fucking idiot.

**Alan Sylvasta:** *you’re

**Alan Sylvasta:** You know that thing about going to horny jail is still bothering me.

**I'm Fox Lady:** if its bothering you why dont you ask the mayor.

**Alan Sylvasta:** Good idea, thank you.

**Alan Sylvasta:** *If

**Alan Sylvasta:** *Don't

**I'm Fox Lady:** I will stab you

**Alan Sylvasta:** You forgot a period.

**_Alan Sylvasta added Barbara Rose to the chat_ **

**Alan Sylvasta:** **@Barbara Rose**

**Barbara Rose:** Uh, yes Alan? 

**I'm Fox Lady:** Alan no

**I'm Fox Lady:** stop

**I'm Fox Lady:** It was a joke

**Alan's Bitch:** Alan I swear to god dont do this

**Alan Sylvasta:** *Don't 

**Alan Sylvasta:** Also you forgot a period.

**Alan Sylvasta:** Now than  **@Barbara Rose** Is it illegal to be horny in Anima City.

**_Barbara Rose has left the chat_ **

**Alan Sylvasta:** Well that was no help.

**_If lost, return to Fox Lady set Alan Sylvasta's name to Horny in Anima City_ **

**Horny in Anima City:** I still don’t know if it’s illegal.

**Alan’s Bitch:** If it was, you’d be in jail already

**Horny in Anima City:** I think we would be cellmates.

**Alan’s Bitch:** I think not.

**Horny in Anima City:** Also you forgot a period in the last text.

**Alan’s Bitch:** Fuck off.

**Flying Whore:** Like I said Alan and Shirou are more amusing.

**Alan's Bitch:** Were not a couple

**Horny in Anima City:** Well, guess I'll die.

**Horny in Anima City:** *We're

**Alan's Bitch:** Fuck you

**Horny in Anima City:** I’d enjoy that.

**Flying Whore:** Why is Alan so proper and pretentious irl but is horny and memeing in text.

**Horny in Anima City:** *in reality

**If lost, return to Fox Lady:** I have no clue but why Alan.

**Horny in Anima City:** Why what?

**If lost, return to Fox Lady:** Why are you such a horny asshole.

**Horny in Anima City:** I don’t know.

**Horny in Anima City:** Just feel like it I guess.

**Horny in Anima City:** And Shirou, about that fucking, are we doing it at my place or yours?

**Alan’s Bitch:** Nowhere

**Alan’s Bitch:** We aren’t fucking,

**Horny in Anima City:** Bad dog

**MR. Krabs:** wtf has this become

**Horny in Anima City:** *what the fuck

**Alan's Bitch:** what the fuck did you call me

**Horny in Anima City:** You forgot a period.

**Horny in Anima City:** And I called you a bad dog. What’s the problem?

**Alan’s Bitch:** I’m a wolf. Not a dog, dumbass.

**Horny in Anima City:** Damn, you mutts are so sensitive.

**Alan’s Bitch:** Thats rich coming from you

**If lost, return to fox lady:** Chill Draco Malfoy

**I’m Fox Lady:** lmao

**Alan’s Bitch:** You’re an asshole, you know that?

**Horny in Anima City:** Yes.

**Horny in Anima City:** I do know that.

**Horny in anima city:** Atleast I did not lose all my money on my first day in Anima City

**Alan’s Bitch:** Alan I swear to god I will fucking rape you

**Horny in Anima City:** Oh yes daddy

**Alan’s Bitch:** I meant kill **Horny in Anima City:** *that’s

**Horny in Anima City:** And I am not sensitive about it.

**Horny in Anima City:** I merely wish to correct single celled halfbreeds like yourself.

**If lost, return to Fox Lady:**

**Horny in Anima City:** Well technically it wouldn't be rape because I would say, qouting a meme Michirou showed me, “Oh yes daddy!”

**Alan’s Bitch:** I hate this chat with a burning passion


End file.
